May 022007

I should exercise more. I shouldn’t eat junk food. I should meditate. The chances are there’s something you think you should, or should not, do to improve your health. Unfortunately the more you think you ‘should’ exercise more, the less chance there is that you’ll actually take more exercise. And the more you think you should not eat chocolate, the more chance you’ll eat it.

Think of a situation when someone – a parent / boss / friend – told you ‘You should …’ And notice the resistance that immediately surfaces. Most of us don’t like to be told what we should, or should not, do. My teenage daughter recently told me she stopped brushing her teeth because I’d said “You should brush them twice a day” so many times, and it annoyed her so much.

It’s the same when we tell ourselves what we should or should not do; there’s an immediate resistance kicks in. Resistance is a hard feeling, a barrier it’s difficult to get past. Ana, as the saying goes, ‘what we resist persists’.

From a Law of Attraction perspective, as long as we think ‘I should exercise more’ we attract the corresponding reality ‘I should exercise more’, and the should feeling becomes reinforced and perpetuated, resulting in the frustration of not making any headway with exercising.

Keys to getting past ‘I should’

1.  Use ‘I am …’

The statement ‘I am ready to exercise more’, or ‘I am exercising more’ has a very different feel to ‘I should/must exercise more’. It brings the exercise into the present, and short circuits the resistance. Each time you find you’re telling yourself I should, deliberately replace it with ‘I am …’ and watch how your attitude, and consequently your actions, change.

2.  Stay in the positive

You might convert ‘I shouldn’t eat so much junk food’ to ‘I’m eating less junk food. You could make this even more positive by moving the focus from what you don’t want (junk food) to what you do want (healthy food). So your statement might become ‘I’m now eating more and more healthy food’.

3.  Let go of doubts

Once you have rephrased your should/should not into a more positive statement, say it to yourself a few times, and see what thoughts and feelings emerge.

There will probably be a mix of the positive (I’m feeling better at the thought of more exercise), and the negative (I don’t know when I’ll fit it in to my day). Just as your initial ‘should’ sent out a negative vibration, any persistent negative thoughts and feelings will also send out a negative vibration which will likely sabotage your efforts.

Simply decide to let the negatives thoughts and feelings go, and trust that the energy of your positive statement will attract solutions to any difficulties.

4. Repeat and be curious

Now you have a positive statement, and you’ve let go of the doubts, say your statement to yourself whenever the issue comes to mind, and be curious to witness a corresponding change in your actions.

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