Feb 272008

You yearn to achieve the peace and wellbeing that comes with reconnecting with your true Self, but this connection remains mysterious and elusive.

When you’re connected you feel energised, unfazed by life’s challenges, and secure in what you do. You operate from a place of love, which engenders balance and good health.

When you’re disconnected you may feel tired, weighed down by the stresses of life, or anxious about things. You operate from a place of fear – fear that you won’t be approved of, fear that you won’t be in control, or fear that you won’t be secure. Eventually these fears can lead to imbalance and poor health.

Connecting with your true Self involves accessing the essence of your being, which is always present however many years and layers of other feelings now surround it.

How to make the connection? Fortunately there are many ways to experience your true nature, so you’re by no means confined to the sometimes mysterious and elusive practice of ‘meditation’. Here are some suggestions which work for me.

How to connect

1.  Spend time in silence

We live in a world of noise and distractions, which continually tug our attention out of ourselves to the material world. So one way to connect with your true Self is through silence.

Simply sit or lie away from people, the computer, TV, newspapers and books, and be with yourself. No effort is needed, just relax and ‘be’. At first your thoughts may run amok, but if you persist they quieten down until you experience an inner calm.

2.  Spend time in nature

Trees, plants and animals are still connected to their source, to the power and intelligence that made them. So communing with nature, outdoors or simply through single flower in a vase, helps connect you to your inner self.

3.  Become aware of your breath

Perhaps the easiest way to connect to yourself is to become aware of your breath. Simply shift your awareness to your breath coming into, and then leaving, your body. This immediately brings your attention to the present, and a calm place in which you can connect to your Self.

4. Use a meditation method

There are many ‘methods’ available to help you find your inner Self, coming under the general umbrella of ‘meditation’.

Transcendental Meditation is a well-known example. I often use Remembrance, a Sufi practice of taking your awareness into your heart, and connecting with the universe. The Brahma Kumaris meditate by focusing on the Third Eye in the centre of the forehead. There are numerous other methods.

5.  Release your feelings

Another approach is to release the feelings which have built up around, and in turn dimmed, your inner Self.

Starting with whatever feeling is present in this moment release it, and notice what feeling surfaces next. Then release that feeling, and so on. Gradually you dissolve away the layers of feeling, until you reach a peaceful place of ‘be-ing’.

EFT and the Sedona Method are both excellent ways to release feelings. See my Quick Start for EFT, or my Quick Start for Sedona.

At first this connection may be a fleeting glimpse; with practice it comes more easily, and eventually you can access it at will. Then you have access to the wisdom of the universe – an excellent source of insight into your health issue.


In what situations do you feel most peaceful and connected?


What is the most appropriate way for you to connect to your true Self on a regular basis?


What will you do today to connect to your true Self?

The Delicious Nugget: Pulled by the distractions of our material world you can easily become disconnected from your true, inner Self. Reconnecting, through for example: silence, nature, your breath, meditation, or releasing feelings, helps bring you back to balance and well-being.

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  20 Responses to “Five ways to connect with your true Self”

  1. I know this post is very old, and this may be a long shot, but I really need some insight here.. What if you can’t connect with your inner self? What if you’re too far down the rabbit hole that caused you to lose your inner self in the first place and can’t get back out? I have been through a traumatizing childhood, heartbreak, self-hate, I don’t like what I see looking back at me when I look in the mirror, I’ve tried so many methods and no matter what I do, all I see is pitch black, nothing else. I don’t feel different, I don’t feel happier, I don’t feel guided. I feel abandoned, and alone. That’s all I’m capable of feeling..

    • I don’t think it matters that it’s an old post, Jerry! Except that I’ve learned a few things in the past 9 years.

      I’m sorry you feel ‘too far down the rabbit hole’. However the fact that you’re reaching out for help suggests that you have hope to reconnect with your true Self, and that’s the start.

      You say you’ve tried lots of methods to reconnect without success. I wonder if you’ve asked someone to help you? While I’m very much into self-help, we all have times when we need someone to provide a helping hand.

      If you’d like to book a session, I would take you on a journey to experience your true Self. Once you have that experience it will be easier to access it for yourself.

      Wishing you well.

  2. I am very happy to learn new ideas and perception from your writings. It is quite encouraging and inspiring to me. Thanks and regards. Akram

    • And thank you for your appreciative comments, Akram 🙂 I hope to continue to inspire you. If you’d like to receive each article as I write it, you can sign up for my Newsletter, in the green box near the top of the right hand column.

  3. Jam, a year is a long time – I hope you re-find yourSelf very soon.

    • There are so many ways to do things,,and anger may be one way,,alas that is an ‘inside’ journey ,,not to be fought outside…xoxo

  4. i think this is great. ill try this. I already found myself before but because of an event that happened to me only last year because of 1 person, i lost my self. its been a year and it bothers me time to time. so i really need to find ways to solve this issue in myself.Thank you very much.and prayer is best key to overcome this.

  5. Thank you for posting this. For the past year or so I have felt so very alone and heartbroken. I have a WONDERFULLY supportive boyfriend who is always there for me but I wind up feeling alone regardless. I’ve known for awhile now that I feel alone because I am not connecting with myself but am so scared to come back to this place after making an effort to get out thr I’ve sabbotaged myself repeatedly…keeping myself in a very dark place. I finally feel I can’t take it anymore and am ready to try. Your post has given me some ideas on how to begin and I sincerely thank you.

    • Great insights, Gabby, and bravo for having the courage to reconnect with your inner self. I’m glad my post has given you ideas, and I expect you’ll come up with your own too. Wishing you the best.

  6. Tammy, it’s good you recognise you can only work on yourself, and deepening your connection with your true Self is a great way forward – using whatever way resonates most for you. Another way, revealed to us in 2012, is to engage with your Light Spheres, which instantly connect you to your true Self. All you need to do is ask, and be open to receive what unfolds for you …

  7. I recently had a bad break up due to him putting up an emotional wall over hurt feelings. I cannot change what has happened and I know I cannot help with his wall. I have been working on myself and getting connected with my inner self, guides, angels and higher power for the release and understanding. All I know in my heart and soul is that he will come back and I have to be patient with his heart and feelings. If you can give me any advise on how to really connect, relax and total surrender all this to god and then universe that would be great.


  8. Yes Cara, connecting with yourself is key, and nature is an excellent facilitator!

    Joyfully, May

  9. Thank-you, I am a christian and I haven’t been able to connect with God properly for a while and now I realize I need to connect with my inner self first through nature, then you can get closer to God.

  10. excellent……………

    words are insufficient to explain the feeling

    Thanx & regards

    IP Singh INDIA

  11. My pleasure Manar!

  12. I realy appreciate these information, very helpfull thanks a lot May

  13. Dear author, thanks for writing. I have been connected to myself for a long time. But in the end of that loneliness I felt that something is missing around me. Now I include my spouse into my true self, what do you think about this inclusion? Looking forward for you to answer by email,

  14. That’s good to hear Muzimbo! I hope those moments take you to good places.

    Joyfully, May

  15. I really love what am reading these days,it must be my moments of re-birth

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