Kate had unearthed some old anger, which she felt was contributing to her sore neck. She tried all the ways she could think of to let the anger go, but nothing seemed to work. Perhaps she was moving too fast.
When you experience a discomfort, your natural reaction is to reject it, to push it away. This is understandable – you just want to be rid of it. Unfortunately, what actually happens is that the pushing away introduces tension around the discomfort, which locks it in more strongly. And so the more we resist the pain the stronger it becomes.
When you used to play on a swing, you had to pause momentarily at the end of the forward swing before you could change direction and swing back.
Similarly, once Kate paused to allow the anger to be present, she stopped resisting it, and it released quickly.
Two of the self-help healing methods I use have a first step of allowing the pain/discomfort. In the Sedona Method, the first question is ‘Could you welcome the feeling?’ – for some people responding to that question alone is enough to release the feeling. And with EFT you hold the pain in mind while tapping round a short series of points.
How to pause and allow
Take a deep breath, and as you breathe out simply decide to allow the pain to be present – this is just a mental decision. Be curious to notice how the pain changes. Take another breath and once again allow the pain to be present. Repeat this process of breathing out and allowing a few times. The more you relax, the more your pain will soften.
In my experience, pausing to allow the physical pain has softened a headache, a horse kick to my shin, shoulder pain and more. As the physical pain starts to ease I’m then in a more powerful position to take the next healing step.
Pausing to allow emotional pain may feel a little scary as most of us were not brought up to allow negative feelings to be present. So I suggest you start with a minor pain, rather than dive in at the deep end with your worst fear!
Whatever your feeling – fear, anger, frustration, grief or whatever – pause for a moment, and ask yourself ‘Could I allow this feeling to be present, just for now?’
Then notice any change you experience. The feeling may diminish, or temporarily get stronger. You’ll likely feel some relief at finally acknowledging and allowing the emotional discomfort.
If you want to move on to resolve the feeling, use my Quick Start Guide for The Sedona Method or for EFT.
The Delicious Nugget: Accepting and allowing your discomfort to be present is a necessary first step towards healing. Sometimes it’s enough to completely resolve the issue!