And feeling good is bound to improve your health too!

We tend to think of love as something we give others, or receive from them. How about giving yourself some love?

‘Love is something we can choose, the same way we choose anger, or hate, or sadness. We can choose love. It’s always a choice within us. Let’s begin right now in this moment to choose love. It’s the most powerful healing force there is.’
~ Louise L. Hay, “The Power is Within You”

Just as dark can’t exist in the presence of light, discomfort can’t exist in the presence of love.

The question

After a couple of weeks of low energy and low mood, I woke up tired, and chose not to let this continue. What came to mind was the idea of giving myself love for no reason, so with nothing to lose, I simply asked myself:

Could I give myself love for no reason?

At first my response was a hesitant ‘Maybe’ – after all giving myself love wasn’t something I was used to doing. I asked the question again, and got a slightly more positive ‘Well, OK’.

Over and over

With my Sedona training, I know the value of persisting with a question, so I kept asking the question, over and over again, for ten minutes or so. By then my mood and energy had lightened considerably, so I was motivated to keep giving myself love for no reason whenever I remembered throughout the day.

Easing the wheels

Like me, the first person I helped to give herself love for no reason, got hesitant responses at first, so if that happens for you, here are some variations on the question that may help:

Could I give myself a little love for no reason?

Could I give myself a little more love for no reason?

Could I allow myself to receive love for no reason?

Whenever you remember

I’ve been using the question for a few weeks now, whenever it comes to mind, which is more some days than others, particularly when something comes up that bothers me. I’m amazed how easily it resolves the disquiet into quiet!

Give it a try!

Could I give myself love for no reason?

The Delicious Nugget: To resolve disquiet into quiet simply give yourself some love!

Here’s one of Deepak Chopra’s suggestions. Close your eyes, and silently repeat to yourself the mantra “I am”, “I am”, “I am”, “I am” for about three minutes. Or more if you like.

The mantra “I am”, has no thought attached to it. Through repetition it competes with your thoughts, until the mantra and your thoughts cancel each other out, and you drop into that delicious space of a quiet mind.

To share how this went for you, click

Reconnect and recharge yourself with the power of silence!

I invite you to entrain to the deep silence I have recorded. The silence should become more powerful as more people listen to it.

Inspired by Dadi Janki of the Brahma Kumaris.

Turn on your speakers,  sit back, press the arrow and enjoy!

2 mins – following the short introduction there are no more words, so you can enjoy the silence  as long as you like.

To Download right/option click, and Save.

This is an experiment – so please let me know what you experience…

From the first 7 weeks of the Oprah/Tolle telecourse ‘A New Earth’, asking this question has been the single most effective tip for me, and I’m using it consistently.

I’ve found that pausing and asking myself whether I’m still breathing before responding to a demanding teenager defuses my ordinarily angry response into something more measured – less stress for both of us!

I’ve found decisions come quickly and easily when I’ve first asked myself whether I’m breathing – again less stress, and more energy available for other things.

I’ve found that pausing and asking myself whether I’m still breathing before choosing what to eat steers me towards unprocessed, healthy options – more energy, a trimmer figure, mental clarity.

In fact, almost anything I do seems to benefit from this simple tip – provided, of course, I remember to use it!

How does it work?

Asking yourself ‘Am I still breathing?’ automatically shifts your focus to your physical body and your immediate surroundings, which in turn takes you to the present moment. When you are focused in the present, you access Be-ing, stillness, awareness, soul – whatever name you choose for the state in which you go past the ego to your spiritual self.

Your spiritual self is connected to the greater spiritual whole which will inspire your response to the situation you face in the moment. You’ll find yourself spontaneously inspired to take the right action.

When you’re in the present you let go of all the repetitive thoughts that normally circulate incessantly around our minds about the past and the future. So you free up masses of energy which was locked in those emotions and feelings.

Try it for yourself

Take a couple of seconds to ask yourself ‘Am I still breathing?’

Notice what effect this has. For me: I become acutely aware of my physical body, my surroundings, and a stillness as my thoughts of a moment ago fall away. Your response will probably be somewhat different.

Keep asking yourself the question whenever you remember, and notice what happens. Even remembering once a day will make a difference.

If you find it difficult to remember, try writing ‘Am I still breathing?’ on a Post-it, and stick it on your computer, fridge or another reminder place. Or, as I just felt inspired to do, make a screensaver out of the question.

Like every technique, it gets easier with practice!

The Delicious Nugget: Asking yourself ‘Am I still breathing?’ is a really effective shortcut to being in the present moment, and many consequent health benefits.

When you’re connected you feel energised, unfazed by life’s challenges, and secure in what you do. You operate from a place of love, which engenders balance and good health.

When you’re disconnected you may feel tired, weighed down by the stresses of life, or anxious about things. You operate from a place of fear – fear that you won’t be approved of, fear that you won’t be in control, or fear that you won’t be secure. Eventually these fears can lead to imbalance and poor health.

Connecting with your true Self involves accessing the essence of your being, which is always present however many years and layers of other feelings now surround it.

How to make the connection? Fortunately there are many ways to experience your true nature, so you’re by no means confined to the sometimes mysterious and elusive practice of ‘meditation’. Here are some suggestions which work for me.

How to connect

1.  Spend time in silence

We live in a world of noise and distractions, which continually tug our attention out of ourselves to the material world. So one way to connect with your true Self is through silence.

Simply sit or lie away from people, the computer, TV, newspapers and books, and be with yourself. No effort is needed, just relax and ‘be’. At first your thoughts may run amok, but if you persist they quieten down until you experience an inner calm.

2.  Spend time in nature

Trees, plants and animals are still connected to their source, to the power and intelligence that made them. So communing with nature, outdoors or simply through single flower in a vase, helps connect you to your inner self.

3.  Become aware of your breath

Perhaps the easiest way to connect to yourself is to become aware of your breath. Simply shift your awareness to your breath coming into, and then leaving, your body. This immediately brings your attention to the present, and a calm place in which you can connect to your Self.

4. Use a meditation method

There are many ‘methods’ available to help you find your inner Self, coming under the general umbrella of ‘meditation’.

Transcendental Meditation is a well-known example. I often use Remembrance, a Sufi practice of taking your awareness into your heart, and connecting with the universe. The Brahma Kumaris meditate by focusing on the Third Eye in the centre of the forehead. There are numerous other methods.

5.  Release your feelings

Another approach is to release the feelings which have built up around, and in turn dimmed, your inner Self.

Starting with whatever feeling is present in this moment release it, and notice what feeling surfaces next. Then release that feeling, and so on. Gradually you dissolve away the layers of feeling, until you reach a peaceful place of ‘be-ing’.

EFT and the Sedona Method are both excellent ways to release feelings. See my Quick Start for EFT, or my Quick Start for Sedona.

At first this connection may be a fleeting glimpse; with practice it comes more easily, and eventually you can access it at will. Then you have access to the wisdom of the universe – an excellent source of insight into your health issue.

Question:

In what situations do you feel most peaceful and connected?

Reflection:

What is the most appropriate way for you to connect to your true Self on a regular basis?

Action:

What will you do today to connect to your true Self?

The Delicious Nugget: Pulled by the distractions of our material world you can easily become disconnected from your true, inner Self. Reconnecting, through for example: silence, nature, your breath, meditation, or releasing feelings, helps bring you back to balance and well-being.

Have you noticed how easily a baby moves from one emotion to another? One minute the baby is crying because she is too hot. The next minute, after her blanket is removed, she is beaming smiles. She let her feeling of anger at being too hot float away like a cloud.

As we grow up we lose this natural facility of letting go of emotions once they have served their purpose. We may start to replay them constantly, or we may stuff them down because they are too uncomfortable to deal with. Either way we tie up lots of energy up in perpetuating old emotions.

Imagine how much better you’ll feel as you quickly let go of fear, anger, sadness, apathy, resentment or any other emotion that feels uncomfortable.

How to release your feelings

1.  Move from head to heart

Since you’ll be dealing with your feelings it makes sense to be working from the feeling area of your heart.  Allow your attention to drop from your head to your heart area. You may find it helpful to direct a few breaths to your heart area to help make this transition.

2.  Identify the feeling

Choose an issue that’s bothering you, and ask yourself:

As I consider <this issue>, what feeling is present right now?

Eg: As I consider <tomorrow’s presentation>, what feeling is present?

Answer: I feel afraid – fear.

TIP Avoid any temptation to go back into your head and start thinking… “I’m afraid I’ll dry up, and they’ll think I’m stupid, and then…”. The beauty of Sedona releasing is that you don’t need to get tied up with the complications of thoughts, you simply work with the feelings. As you release the feelings the thoughts fall away too.

TIP If it’s difficult to name the feeling, that’s OK, simply use a phrase like ‘this uncomfortable feeling’.

3.  Welcome the feeling

The next step is to welcome the feeling as best you can. Ask yourself:

Could I welcome this feeling?

In a gentle way, allow the feeling to be as fully present as possible.

Notice what it feels like. For example you might feel anger as tension in your chest, or sadness as tightness in your throat. Or you may have more of an energetic sensation of constriction. Or you may not sense anything – that’s fine.

Sometimes the feeling releases after this step along!

TIP If it feels too scary to welcome the feeling fully, simply allow yourself to be in touch with the feeling as much as you can right now. If this is just the edge of, say, a strong anger, that’s fine.

4.  Ask yourself three questions

Now you’re ready to ask yourself the three questions at the heart of the Sedona Method.

• For all the questions, answer from your heart. This means trusting yourself to go with your ‘gut response ’.
• For the first two questions, answer with a simple ‘Yes’ or ‘No’.

1. Could I let this <fear> go?
2. Would I let it go?
3. When?

TIP If your answer to questions 1. or 2. is a ‘No’, that’s fine. You may have released the feeling anyway; if not you can ask the questions again.

TIP If your thoughts start to intrude with explanations why you can’t let go, simply take your attention back to your heart area, and focus on your feelings.

4.  Repeat as needed

Letting go of emotions is like unpeeling the layers of an onion. Sometimes the feeling goes quickly; other times you need to repeat steps 3. and 4. a number of times.

The good news is that once the feeling is gone, it’s gone forever! Any more fear surfacing around public speaking is anther aspect of the fear, which I can release in the same way.

The Delicious Nugget: With Sedona Releasing, letting go of emotions around an issue is surprisingly quick and easy.  Simply: move into your heart area, identify the emotion present, welcome the feeling, then ask: Could I let it go?, Would I let it go?, When?

Find out more about The Sedona method

For more information on The Sedona Method, see www.sedona.com

To benefit from healing using The Sedona Method

If you would like help to heal your health issue using the Sedona Method see my Deep Inner Healing Package

1. Decide the issue you want to work on.

EFT is most effective when you work on a specific event, or a circumstance that triggers your discomfort. For example:

My fear when the spider ran across the carpet today (rather than ‘My fear of spiders’).

The knot I got in my stomach when I spoke to my boss last week (rather than ‘The knot in my stomach’).

If you’re unable to identify a specific event or circumstance, don’t worry – use a general statement such as:

This deep sadness
My headache

You may find a specific instance ‘pops up’ as you tap, which you can then focus on.

2. Develop a ‘Setup sentence’

Use the following sentence as a model. Feel free to vary the wording to suit yourself, so long as you include both the problem and the acceptance of yourself.

Even though I feel afraid when a spider runs across the carpet, I deeply and completely accept myself.

The Setup Sentence puts your problem in perspective, and helps to remove any unconscious blocks you may have to resolving your discomfort.

3. Rate the strength of your discomfort

Use a scale of 0-10 to rate the strength of your discomfort right now. Zero is no discomfort, and 10 is extremely uncomfortable.

Tapping points for a shortcut version of EFT

1. Karate Chop On side of hand
2. Inner Eyebrow
3. Outer Eye Bone to side of eye
4. Under Eye Bone under centre of eye
5. Under Nose
6. Under Mouth
7. Collar Bone To side of notch.
8. Under Arm Four inches below armpit
9. Crown Top of head

3. Tap KC as you say your Setup Sentence, three times

Use two fingers of one hand to to tap on the KC (karate chop) point of the other hand, while saying your Setup sentence, out loud or in your head as appropriate. Do this three times.

4. Use two fingers to tap seven times on each point 2-9

Each time you tap a point, say a short Reminder Phrase that keeps you tuned into the problem, eg ‘spider fear’, ‘knot in stomach’.

It doesn’t matter which side of the body you tap on, or if you use a mix of your left and right sides.

5. Take a deep breath, then rate your discomfort again

It’s very likely your discomfort, and hence your rating, has gone down.

6. Repeat steps 2 to 5 until your discomfort reaches zero

For these subsequent tapping rounds you need to vary your Setup Sentence, and Reminder Phrase along the following lines.

Even though I still feel afraid of a spider running across the carpet, I deeply and completely accept myself.

Remaining fear of spiders.

If your rating goes up at any point, it’s likely that another feeling is surfacing, which you can treat in the same way.

You may need to tap on some issues for a few days to dissolve them completely.

Play!

EFT is very forgiving; no need to worry about the precise location of tapping points; two fingers are likely to cover them. As with all healing, your intention is key.

If you approach EFT in a curious and creative frame of mind, you’ll find yourself, like many others before you, adpating the process to suit yourself.

Find out more about EFT

Once you’ve got some benefit from using EFT, you’ll probably want to explore it in more detail at Gary Craig’s abundant website: www.emofree.com You can watch a video about EFT, download his free Manual, and search through hundreds of helpful articles where practitioners report in detail how they have EFT on a very wide range of issues

Be supported with your EFT

If you would like in-depth support to explore all aspects of your issue, and the added strength of two people tapping together, please see my Deep Inner Healing Package.

I was brought up in the Quaker tradition, based on George Fox’s premise: “there is that of God in everyone”, which means that each of us has an “inner light”. The idea of going inside to my source feels natural. On the other hand, many religions and healing practices see our source as external.

As a healer, when I use Reiki, I connect with an external source and channel its healing energy out through my hands. When I use the Sufi practice of drinking qualities into my heart I feel as if I’m calling them in from an external source.

On the other hand, when I use Reconnective Healing or Core Transformation, I go to a very still space within, in which imbalances can melt and transform, and healing takes place. In these healing modalities the source seems to me to be internal.

So I was puzzled: is the source inside or outside?

Slowly I realised it’s not an ‘either/or” question. Just as a hologram is repeated from the outside in, my source is both inside and outside!

Whether you see your source as inside or outside, many spiritual practices involve going to a quiet place within, such as your heart, to access your connection, your place of feeling ‘at one’. Equally, you may also access this state in other ways, such as through music, art or being in nature.

Question:

Where do you perceive your source to be?

Is there a religious influence at work for you?

Do you resonate with some other ‘explanation’ of your source?

Reflection:

How do you connect with your source?

Perhaps you follow a religious or spiritual practice? If so, you probably have an intention to connect.

In what other situations do you feel ‘connected’, ‘at peace’, in a ‘state of being’? Perhaps this happens spontaneously, without effort on your part.

Action:

How can you make your connection more regular?

In this material world we have become disconnected from our source, many of us no longer have a sense of ‘who we are’. We allow our ego to rule through our thoughts and feelings, and find ourselves living in a reactive, out of control, state. When we reconnect we regain our power for living and healing.  We are nurtured, and things slot back into perspective.

How can you spend more time connected to your source?

The Delicious Nugget: Your source is both within and outside you! Find a way to connect which resonates for you, and feel the benefits of regular ‘being’.

Family commitments, your work or day-to-day living may have squeezed your spiritual practice out. Or, a change like having visitors has put it on the back burner. Or you’ve started a new practice, abandoned the previous one, but the new one didn’t quite gel so it’s all fallen apart.

You know you feel better when you carry out your practice. You feel more at peace and connected, and you can access insights and wisdom that come from a broader perspective than your mind.

Like exercise and the food you eat, spiritual practice needs to be a regular cornerstone of healthy living. Some people access it unconsciously, eg by walking outdoors or painting or listening to music; however most of us need to make a conscious effort.

5 tips for getting into regular spiritual practice

1.  Find a practice you enjoy

If you enjoy and benefit from your practice you’re far more likely to keep going. Of course any new practice requires some discipline as you move from through the ‘faith it will work’ phase into the ‘now I’m experiencing the benefits’ phase. Looking back over the many practices I’ve tried – from candle gazing through chakra clearing, Remembrance, and the 12 colour meditation to the yin breath – I realise that some proved far more beneficial than others.

What spiritual practice has helped you to feel most peaceful and connected?

2.  Set a regular time each day

You’re more likely to keep up your practice if you have a set time of day.  Early morning is best for me; expressing gratitude as I wake up, 12 colour meditation in the shower then ten minutes or so of Remembrance after my exercises. All before breakfast! I may add in other slots later on, but early morning is the core for me.

Other people prefer to carry out their spiritual practice on the train to work, at lunchtime, or in the evening.

What time of day suits you best?

3.  Use a special place, or be very flexible

I know people who have a special chair, or corner of a room with special objects they use for their practice, all of which helps to get them in the mood.

However, when I learned Transcendental Meditation in 1992 I was in a busy period of my life, so I ended up being able to meditate almost anywhere; from noisy train platforms to any part of my house or garden. I also managed to get my two year old to occupy himself for the necessary twenty minutes! That flexibility has paid off; now I’m able to get into my spiritual practice almost anywhere, so it’s less likely to get interrupted by any change in my lifestyle or routine.

Would you benefit from a special place?

Or, do you need to be able to be able to carry out your practice wherever you are?

4.  Get support

If you’re starting a new practice it can help enormously to learn with others. And once you’ve got going, it’s good to reinforce your practice with other people.

This could be through a group, such as your local meditation group, with a friend, or with a buddy over the phone. Being part of a group often deepens the connection you make.

Do you need some support to get started, or keep going?

5.  Evolve your practice

Once you’re on a spiritual path, you’re likely to discover and try new practices, some of which will help you deepen your connection.  This raises the challenge of what to adopt and what to drop. It’s at this point of flux that I sometimes feel unsure how to proceed and end up dropping by the wayside.

In the past year or so I’ve been finding ways to blend practices together, like the Yin breath and Remembrance. I also go back to the first tip of checking out which practice is so beneficial there’s no way I’m going to drop it.

Are you enabling your practice to evolve and stay fresh?

The Delicious Nugget: Like exercise and good eating, regular spiritual practice involves a little preparation and organising and perhaps some support, then it will run smoothly, with some occasional refreshment.